im not mad . im hurt deeply and it grows bigger every single day . im sorry . i can't help it . i kept on telling myself that it's gonna be ok . it will be . but , i lost my hope . i don't know . there's no hope any more . why ? i don't know . i miss you like seriously man . ugh . i hate all this family drama . i don't wanna give up . but , is that the only option left ? i don't know . perhaps . this shit is distracting my mind and had give a big effect on us . it's not working is it ? patience ? i don't know how i can be patient now . every single day i had to face stuff like this . i love you man .